How to Build Genuine Relationships with Casting Directors

Your step-by-step guide to developing genuine relationships with creative industry professionals – without getting the networking ick.

Does hearing the word ‘marketing’ or ‘networking’ instantly make you want to find the nearest exit? It often feels… icky, right? Like you have to be someone you’re not just to make connections with casting directors. 

But what if building industry relationships wasn’t about playing a part, but about leaning into who you authentically are? What if you could create a strategy that actually feels good because it’s an extension of your true self, and still gets results?

So forget that old-school idea of schmoozing under fluorescent lights. Too many actors approach meeting casting directors with vague hope, crossing their fingers they’ll be remembered. Here’s the truth: Hope is not a strategy. A system designed with an actionable plan is.

Genuine relationships – the kind that leads to opportunities – aren’t built on pretending. They’re built by showing up as yourself, consistently and genuinely. The key is creating a marketing and relationship-building strategy that feels true to you. This will ensure you actually do it and that it works. 

So, where do you start putting that strategy into practice? It begins before you even walk into the room, by focusing your energy:

Step 1: Focus Your Energy

You can’t chase a thousand butterflies at once, right? Trying to connect with everyone is exhausting and ineffective. The key to pre-gaming events isn’t hoping for random encounters or worrying if they know you yet (they likely don’t); it’s about you knowing where you want to go.

Get clear on the kinds of projects you genuinely want to do and the types of roles that truly fit you. That clarity will guide your research and focus your energy. Before your next event, use that focus:

• Targeted Research: Research who is attending – which casting directors, directors, or writers are involved with the kinds of projects you identified? These are the 10-20 ‘butterflies’ worth focusing your energy on initially. Learn a bit about their specific, relevant work.
• Prepare Conversation Starters: Based on your focused research and genuine interest in their work, you might jot down informed questions like, ‘I saw you cast [X Project] and I really loved [Specific Aspect]. I’m curious, what was the biggest challenge in finding the right actors for that?’ But consider skipping the industry talk sometimes! Another great approach is to ask something unique and human to create a memorable connection. Think: ‘What’s the most interesting thing that happened to you this week?’ or ‘Who made you smile today?’ Even sharing a short, relevant anecdote can work wonders. Aim for genuine conversation.
• Come Prepared: Yes, casting directors might not carry cards, but you definitely should. Have simple ones ready with your headshot (the same one on your Spotlight profile) and a QR code linking to your best online presence (website, key profile – choose one). Using a QR code means you can update the link later without reprinting cards. Also, have a way to take quick notes immediately after a good conversation. Use your phone if that’s how you roll or carry a small notepad. Step away for a moment and jot down anything relevant, interesting, or personal they shared. Trust me, you’ll need these details later for an authentic follow-up (see Step 3).

Knowing who you want to connect with based on your goals transforms networking from a scattergun approach into targeted, meaningful relationship-building where you can plant the right seeds.

Step 2: Build Your Contacts Tracker

You’ve focused your energy and maybe even made some targeted connections (or at least identified who you want to connect with). Now what? You need a way to keep track of these interactions and plan your next steps so nothing falls through the cracks. That’s where your contacts tracker comes in.

Any effective relationship-building strategy requires organisation – you simply can’t turn contacts into connections if you drop the ball. Most actors meet people and have good intentions to follow up… Then they freeze, unsure of exactly what to do or say next, and those moments get lost in the shuffle.

Don’t be that actor.

You need a contacts tracker (or whatever you want to call it); your personal relationship map where you keep track of the real interactions you have. A simple spreadsheet is your new best friend for putting your strategy into practice.

Set up a simple spreadsheet in Excel or Google Drive to serve as your tracker (or grab my free template when you join the challenge mentioned at the end). Once your spreadsheet is ready label the columns:

• Name and Contact Info: Obvious, but essential. Make sure you get the spelling of names right!
• Where/When You Met: Context matters for genuine recall. Don’t rely on memory.
• What You Talked About: This is key! What genuine connection did you make? Did you bond over a shared love of indie film, their dog, or a specific project they worked on that resonated with you? Write down the real conversation points you just jotted down after meeting them. This isn’t just trivia; it’s the key to writing follow-ups that feel genuine and avoid that generic ‘networking’ vibe because they reflect your actual interaction and personality.
• Ability to Help (1-5): Let’s be real – how much can this person actually impact your career path right now? Rate them 1-5. A top casting director might be a 5, while your supportive (but non-industry) mum might rank lower on this scale, even if her willingness is high. Be honest with yourself about their current potential impact.
• Willingness to Help (1-5): This is different and crucial. How willing does this person seem to engage or potentially help down the line? Rate 1-5. Someone you just met might be low here (why should they help yet?), while your mum might be a 5. Your job isn’t to force it, but to potentially increase this score over time through regular, non-pushy interactions that add value. Think of it like making deposits in the relationship bank. When that account is healthy, you often don’t even have to ask for a withdrawal; opportunities can arise naturally.
• Next Step and Date: Plan your next proactive step. How can you authentically follow up in a way that genuinely adds value to them? This isn’t always about industry insights; maybe it’s connecting them with a resource for a personal interest they mentioned or sharing something that shows you remembered them as a person. Decide on an actual date when you’ll reach out next – be timely, not pushy. 

Fill this tracker consistently after interactions. When deciding who to follow up with first, be strategic. Add up the ‘Ability’ and ‘Willingness’ scores for each contact. Focus your first round of follow-ups on the top 5-10 highest combined scores those with the most potential to move the needle soonest. Remember, you’ll nurture everyone eventually (don’t ignore your mum) but prioritise initial outreach for maximum potential impact.

Step 3: The First Follow-Up – Reflect on Your Real Connection

You met someone – perhaps one of your targeted ‘butterflies’ – had a genuine chat and logged it in your tracker. Now, the follow-up – think of it as an extension of that authentic interaction. To reiterate: A great follow-up reflects the connection you made, it doesn’t just ask for a job. It reinforces your genuine interest and personality.

• Bad example: “Hi [Casting Director Name], Great meeting you! Please keep me in mind for any roles.” This is generic and ignores the actual conversation, focusing only on your needs.
• Good example: “Hi [Casting Director Name], So great connecting about [specific, authentic thing you discussed – see your tracker for details] at [Event Name]. I really enjoyed hearing your perspective on [topic]/It was inspiring to hear about X.” This is specific, references the real moment you shared and shows you listened to what they had to say.

The ‘good example’ references their perspective or something they shared and that’s key. It shows you listened and valued their input, making the connection feel real. 

Keep your follow-up short, specific, and reflective of your voice and the actual interaction. Your goal is to be remembered positively as the authentic person you are.

Your Authentic Mission (Should You Choose to Accept It):

1. Prepare for interactions by knowing your goals and prepping thoughtful conversation starters (industry-related or human) and practical tools (cards, notes).
2. Set up your Contacts Tracker as your connection hub to manage interactions effectively.
3. Strategically prioritise your initial follow-up based on the combined Ability/Willingness scores in your tracker.
4. Draft follow-ups that reflect your voice and the real conversation you had with that person. Remember to include their perspective or something they shared – this proves you were listening and makes the connection genuine.

You’re building a strategy based on who you are – that’s how you build a career that not only gets results but feels good.

Anne Alexander-Sieder is an actor, career coach, founder of Act Bold, and host of its podcast by the same name. After stepping away from the industry for 16 years to focus on family, Anne made a bold return to acting at 47, with no current showreel or industry contacts, and built a successful international career. She’s booked roles with top companies like Netflix, A24, and more. Driven by her own journey, Anne created Act Bold and programs like ‘Get Better Roles’ to help actors bypass the confusion and struggle – so they don’t have to navigate the industry alone. Her mission is to empower actors to take control, transform connections into opportunities, and build sustainable, thriving careers.

Join Anne’s free five-day challenge, ‘Follow Up or Fade Out’, running from April 21-25 2025. Get daily guidance, actionable steps and the support you need to turn these concepts into career-building habits – and don’t worry if you can’t make it live: everything’s recorded!